美国心理学家亚瑟·阿伦博士设计了一个实验，目的是寻找让陌生人快速建立好感、增进亲密度的方法。实验中，两个人一组，相互询问36个问题。据说，一位专栏作家在实验结束时，和她的搭档竟真的坠入了爱河。于是，网络上便广为流传起这套「能让陌生人相爱的魔力测试题」。我们将这36问分享以下，大约需要45分钟完成。
这些问题不仅可以用于陌生社交场合的破冰，也可以作为一次更加深刻了解你的爱人、子女、父母或者好友，增进彼此感情的契机。
开始进入测试：
1. 假如能邀请任意一个人来共进晚餐，你想和谁在一起？Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. 你想出名吗？以什么样的方式？Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3.每次打电话之前，你是否会先预演一下待会要说的话？为什么？ Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. 于你而言，怎样才能称得上是“完美”的一天？What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. 你最近一次唱歌给自己听是什么时候？给别人唱歌又是什么时候？When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. 假设你活到90岁，那么在接下来的60年里，你将希望一直保有30岁的心智？还是30岁的体魄？If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. 你是否曾预感过自己会在何时死去？Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. 请说出三个你和对座人的共同点。Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. 人生中你最为感激的是什么？For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. 如果你能改变自己被养育的方式，你将如何做？If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. 请用四分钟的时间，尽可能详细地向搭档描述你的生活。Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. 如果明天醒来你将拥有某项特质或能力，你希望会是什么？If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
??
13. 如果有个水晶球可以让你知道一个真相，不管是关于你的自身、你的生活、你的未来还是任何事，你希望知道什么？If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. 你是否有非常想要去做的事情？为什么还没实现？Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. 你人生中最大的成就是什么？What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. 一段友情中你最看重什么？What do you value most in a friendship?
17. 你最珍视的回忆是什么？What is your most treasured memory?
18. 你最可怕的回忆是什么？What is your most terrible memory?
19. 如果你得知一年后将会死去，你会改变当前的生活方式吗？为什么？If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. 友情对你来说意味着什么？What does friendship mean to you?
21. “爱”与“情感”在你的生活中扮演着怎样的角色？What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. 请你们轮流说出对方的5个闪光点。Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. 你与你的其他家庭成员关系是否亲密？你是否觉得自己的童年比其他人要更幸福？How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. 你和你母亲之间的关系怎么样？How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
???
25. 请以“我们”为开头再造3句话。比如，“我们都在这个房间里，感觉……”Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. 请将这句话补充完整：我希望和某人分享…… Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … ”
27. 如果你和你的搭档是死党，有什么是他/她一定要知道的？If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. 说说你欣赏你搭档哪些点。请真诚一点，不要说那种对初次见面人的客套回答。Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. 请分享你生命中最尴尬的时刻。Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. 你上次当着别人的面哭是什么时候？独自哭呢？When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. 告诉对方在接触过程中，你喜欢上他/她的哪些？Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. 假如有的话，你认为什么是严肃不能开玩笑的？What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. 如果今晚你就会死去，且没有机会联系任何人，你会因为没来得及对某些人说什么而感到后悔？为什么一直没对他们说呢？If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. 假设你的家着火了，里面有你的全部家当。当你救出了你挚爱的亲人和宠物后，你还有一次机会进去带走某个物品，你会拿什么？为什么？Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. 在你的所有家人中，谁的去世会让你感到最难过？为什么？Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. 请跟对方说一个你的私人问题，并听听他/她对这个问题的看法。同时，请他们讲讲他们在同样的处境里会怎样去解决。Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
这套经典问答背后支撑的原理也很简单，来自美国人本主义心理学家Sidney Jourard在1958年提出的，自我表露（self-disclosure）理论。维基百科中显示，自我表露包含以下三层含义：人们真诚分享个自私密的想法与感觉，这是个体表达亲密和爱的方式。同时，自我表露是健康人格的前提和表现，被认为是一个稳定的个体或一段稳定关系的重要特质。并且，重要的不是表露了什么内容，而是在这个相互表露的过程中，双方的关系变得更加丰富、深入与复杂。双方因此能够达到“共情”，并能站在对方的角度去理解、看待事物。这36个问题中不乏一些重复的内容，事实上也是设计者希望双方能够拥有更高价值的自我表露，以此形成有效的亲密关系。
